By Randi Locke
How Traditional Weddings Have Become A Financial Burden Rather Than A Blessed Day
Three months ago on October 29th, I said yes to spending the rest of my life with my amazing fiancé. When I said yes to spending the rest of my life with my partner, I also said yes to months of explaining why we would rather elope in another state than have a traditional wedding. Let me start with saying there is nothing wrong with having a traditional wedding. After working in bridal sales for six months and scheduling bridal parties as a salon receptionist, I have learned that having a traditional wedding would be too much for me. From finances to ideas and execution, I found that weddings can be a lot more effort than they are worth.
So, what is an actual wedding worth in the United States? According to the Knot the average cost of a wedding in 2023 is thirty thousand dollars. This average price does not include the newer trends such as bachelorette/bachelor trips, engagement parties, and wedding after parties. The parts of the wedding that cost the most were the engagement ring, venue, live band, and photographer. These things would typically cost less for other events such as conferences or parties. However, because of the amount of time planners and venues dedicate to a wedding, vendors are more likely to charge higher prices. For some vendors, they can use this as an opportunity to charge more for something as simple as set us. According to Brainy Insights, the wedding market worldwide is estimated to be worth 646.65 billion USD. This price factors in the growing popularity of destination weddings and online wedding vendors. The upward tick in prices is also influenced by access to more images and videos of celebrity /influencer weddings.
Weddings have always been influenced by the upper class; from Queen Victoria popularizing white wedding dresses in the 1840s, to the DeBeers diamond corporation creating the concept of engagement rings. Weddings in the United States have always been a display of wealth. However, the media and corporations tried to sell the dream that middle/lower class people can have a luxurious wedding. Shows like TLC “Say yes to the dress” and “four weddings” provide the fantasy that anyone can obtain a dream wedding. From the girl marrying her high school sweetheart finding her perfect dress, to the tasteful country club wedding winning a fantastic honeymoon. Now with the rise of social media, the planning and execution of weddings have changed.
While planning a wedding has always been elaborate and intense, the creation of social media makes weddings a lifelong event. Apps like Pinterest and tik tok can bombard couples with images and videos of the latest wedding trends or wedding fails. Instead of guests going home recalling what happened that day, they can now follow a hashtag or look on the respective wedding party’s page. Increasing the pressure for a picture-perfect day. Making couples feel like their wedding is not just for their guests but for their followers. Prioritizing florals, outfits, and photography over the ceremony and food. The pressure of focusing on keeping the guests happy and having a picture-perfect wedding is why some couples opt to elope.
Elopements like weddings have also transformed over time. What was once considered a last-minute ceremony can now be a way to cut out all the middlemen. During the pandemic, people planning weddings had to decide whether to ride out the pandemic or to cut down the wedding to a more intimate ceremony. According to a survey conducted by Helzberg diamonds in 2022, 62% of couples have considered eloping. This correlates with the study conducted by Dr. Hugo Mialon and Dr. Andrew Francis from Emory University. The study stated that the more money a couple spends on the wedding, the more likely they are to divorce. 53% of couples that spent less than a thousand dollars being less likely to divorce. Aside from wanting to save money, couples that elope want to focus on aspects that matter during the day. Items that would be prioritized in a traditional wedding such as florals and live music are either being reduced or cut out together. Couples that wish to elope take the vast resources from social media and seek out inspiration and vendors for a simple elopement. Allowing couples, the luxury to choose smaller vendors and shy away from conventional wedding choices. The freedom to focus on the couple rather than the guests is one of the reasons why I decided that eloping is best for me and my partner.
Do I believe that traditional weddings are bad? No. Despite all the hassle and the influences, traditional weddings can be a beautiful thing. For me, however I do not want to organize one of the most important days of my life around how others will enjoy the event both in real time and online.
