Over the decades as technology increases our productivity, it has undoubtedly decreased our physical interactions. Kids no longer go outside to play with their imaginary friends whom I fear have developed invisible anxiety and invisible stress weight from being ignored. Toys R Us, a factory of fun in my childhood, has declared bankruptcy due to iPads, iPods, iPhones and I…don’t-want-anything-without-an-lowercase-i-before-it. Not to sound like a whiny baby-boomer because as one who just makes the millennial cutoff I completely get it. It was inevitable that consumer demand wanted faster, more convenient ways to entertain ourselves, but it isn’t without its drawbacks.
As the future became closer we became distant. Economy has forced people to work harder and longer leaving children to be raised by technology. We (especially in western society) increasingly have become touch starved. Positive touch being an important social tool for humans has proven to do much harm if received in low amounts. Lack of can create somatosensory affectional deprivation which affects the type of person they will become such as an emotionally immature adult. Younger generations suffer more from social anxiety and clinical depression with the lack of interaction from day to day. We all remember those teenage years of angst locking yourself in your room with the lights off and blasting loud music. What happens when you never evolve from being that person? You rely on social media, biased news and other anxiety filled internet friends which can result in further depression from the state of politics and social injustice. Your deprivation may lead you to misuse or abuse of food, alcohol, drugs and media. Perhaps you decide to find fun in internet trolling, seeking validation in likes, upvotes, shares and reblogs. You sit at your monitor for hours on end berating strangers on online gaming communities and/or practice “clever” yet disgusting comments to leave in The Shaderoom. Those who have been bullied or just ignored socially in school became local terrorists shooting up schools and building bombs because nobody they cared for hugged them. Men and women alike seek attention, physically, mentally or emotionally in toxic ways to make up for reticent guardians or peers who themselves haven’t received enough platonic healthy touch growing up. In a country with one of the highest incarceration rates of Black and Brown people, many of which have found themselves in solitary confinement which has proven to leave long lasting problems on mental health.
Technology however isn’t fully to blame for the disconnection, we are. Yes, texting and emails are detached corresponses common in communication but what about physical? In the Digital Age, we used technology to discover more about ourselves and others for good and for worse. With the current findings of sexual harassment and abuse within circles of money and influence especially the TV and film industry, the talk about bodily integrity has come to the forefront. We are beginning to talk more and more about permission, acknowledging types of abuse as well as coming forward as victims. Many (aka Men) have jokingly and seriously suggested avoiding others in fear of accusation but lack of education about consent is what got us here. Privilege in addition has given many the vehicle to damage others mentally and physically without much repercussion. This further adds to social disconnection because many (especially women and trans people, Black in particular) become victims without a voice in a society that coddles racism and sexism. Toxic masculinity also has its place in this issue where homophobia and hypermasculinity forces males to avoid any form of touch that isn’t violent with one another. Quite contrast to women who have healthier physical relationships with their friends devoid of phobia and social ostracism. We are left with a society where people are skin hungry for comfort contact yet fear the thought of leaving themselves vulnerable. Babysitters are caught abusing children, pedophiles are ignored within the family and teacher/student fights or sexual relations makes you want to keep your children in a plastic bubble. Trapped in high living costs and unadjusted wage gaps, many can’t afford the resources to home-school which is actually healthier socialization for kids in addition to afterschool activities.
In effort to combat the deepening of avoidance, we as a people should make more of an effort to comfort one another. A hug alone goes a long way to someone depressed enough to consider suicide. Teaching kids consent to prevent abuse and a healthy understanding of gender identity/expression/equality to nip future misogny/sexism/homophobia/transphobia in the bud. Entertaining people online with replies who clearly don’t practice self-love furthers “shade” culture giving these house hermits a voice and agency. We need to shut down negative interaction with internet trolls and possibly integrate therapy into these kids lives early on whether we as parents or guardian assume nothing is wrong. Social media sites show that the youth remain quiet externally but openly discuss their mental health with strangers online as a cry for help. Somethings we must learn to identify within ourselves in order to teach others, so book reading should be top priority for the whole family. They even put a lowercase i before books for the screen humpers! Positive healthy touch among each other should be normalized, many cultures especially Caribbean Latin Americans touch a lot and are reported to be some of the happiest people in the world. We as Americans have clung to the Nuclear family ideals, kicking young adults out at early ages to live on their own instead of multigenerational homes with a greater sense of community and love. With all the circumstances that divide us, a greater urgency to embrace each other screams for attention. Let’s practice more affection and less disconnection, let’s
