Love Is The Revolution

Y’all.

I am actively trying to love a Black man.

It is stirring up all kinds of trauma in both of us. Audre Lorde said we learned fear with our mothers’ milk. She said, “We were never meant to survive.” But I don’t care what was meant for us. I see a future that is loving and whole. Honest and bright. Breathtaking with epic breakthroughs that will evolve humanity’s idea of Love. A future in which the sons of sharecroppers who were the sons of African ironworkers can love and protect the daughters of nursemaids who were the daughters of African healers. We are waymakers and the path is delightful.

Dr. King said that the moral arc of the Universe is long but it bends towards justice. We, my sisters (and brothers), are in that bend. Our love is that justice.

So today’s Monday Motivation almost didn’t happen. ‘Cause I’m in the process of perfecting my faith and aligning with my best self so that I can be and expect balanced partnership. I almost got swallowed in the despair of feeling out of control, afraid and alone.

But God.

Love is the revolution.

Black Love is.

…forged in the fire of impossible, which makes it dazzling.

Don’t give up on your families, your friendships, your relationships, your marriage, your soulmates.

We were never meant to survive.

But we did.

Fire walkers.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and their African wives Oshun, Oya and Yemaya.

Passionate.

Loving.

Here.

I don’t have anything brilliant to say but I have a few brilliant things to share with you.

We had a transformational conversation about Oshun on Thursday. We talked about the power of The Divine Feminine. In it, Vanessa gave a checklist that I found to be particularly helpful as I navigate my life right now.

And as I was feeling like “Nope, it’s a wrap,” Black men picked me up. So this newsletter is dedicated to their resilience. I highly recommend watching, or listening to the following:

1. A Word on Resilience from a Black man: I joined a new church in Washington, DC, which is hilarious, because I live in South Carolina but mostly because I was moved by this pastor. Yesterday’s sermon felt like “required listening” for every Black woman I know. It’s short and gets right to it. The subject is resilience, and it starts at 57:00. But if you want a little Holy Ghost start at 54:00. (I know you don’t know me yet Pastor Watley but I hope your message blesses millions.) Here it is.
2. A Meditation on Grounding from a Black man: There’s a brother named Londrelle who is defining self-care for our people with his meditations and this first affirmation came on when I was about to cut somebody on Saturday.
3. A Song of Joy from two Black men: Y’all know I love some Winans and I can’t stop singing “Whatever you do, Lord don’t take your joy from me.” Remember that song? Add to that, GirlTrek member Stacy Wilson’s award-winning husband Brian Courtney Wilson’s song Still, and you got a good playlist started. Here it is.
4. A Prayer for Love from a Black man: We did a whole brilliant episode on Alice Coltrane last week. We talked a lot about John Coltrane’s 32-minute, 4-piece masterpiece legacy album called A Love Supreme. It is a musical prayer, a vibratory breakthrough. Our friend Carvell Wallace wrote this brilliant article about it for MTV a while ago.
5. A Word on Healing from a Black Man: We had a staff meeting last week and invited one of our board members—one of the smartest Black men on the planet, who is also a Dean at Duke University, and one of the leading researchers on Black women’s health in the country. He explained that stress comes in two forms: perceived stress and actual stress. He said the Black women are good at managing “perceived stress,” because we have powerfully optimistic thoughts, but it’s the actual stressors of injustice and life in America—broken families, mass incarceration, violence, poverty—that “our bodies keep score” even as our minds stay faithful. He says that the single most powerful thing we can do is daily physical exercise to relieve that stress. In this article in the New York Times he gave us the best endorsement we have received: “We’ve spent an enormous amount of money on research-based approaches to obesity prevention and treatment, and almost none of them have worked with Black women,” says Gary G. Bennett, a professor at Duke University and a leading researcher on obesity. “One of the key predictors of positive treatment outcomes is really high levels of engagement. I’ve been doing work on obesity as it affects medically vulnerable populations for 15 years, and I don’t know of anything in the scientific community or any public health campaigns that have been able to produce and sustain engagement around physical activity for Black women like GirlTrek does. Not even close.” Anyways, last week he said how grateful he was for our work because he loves his Black mother, wife, and daughters.

   Oh, I feel better.

Deep sigh and gratitude for our brothers, fathers and lovers.

Sincerely,
Daughter of Oshun (and Oya!)

Morgan