By Dawn Felder-Boren
It’s not uncommon for older cousins to be referred as aunts and uncles in the black community. They took those roles and helped to rear younger generations. As a child, I thought that my ease dropping revealed untold stories about my family but I learned that this was untrue. I attended a family church service when I was around 10 or 12 years old. It was a Veterans service and the church secretary asked that all service members stand so that the congregation could acknowledge them. They passed around a booklet with photos and it had different branches of military of community members. At the end of the celebration, they asked that my aunt stand. I wondered, why would she stand? She helped to raise me. I’ve eaten plenty of dinners at her house, played with her children and I’ve even had the opportunity to be chastised by her if I was “smelling myself” as the old people would say. Once she made her way out of her pew, the church secretary greeted her and stated that her late husband was tragically killed in the Vietnam War. She thanked her for her sacrifices, prayed that her bereaved heart be healed and then then congregation stood. They humbly gave her a standing ovation and expressed sweet but sad sentiments. In that moment my mouth dropped. I never knew this about her or my cousins. I can say that I don’t recall ever seeing her husband but that isn’t uncommon in many households. I never told her that I held on that moment. I always wanted to know more but as a child, you have to know your place. To be honest, I wouldn’t have understood if she told me her story back then. One thing I do know, I never forgot that day and I would often think… what is her story?
I received a call from Sasha, the Editor and Chief of the Northend Agent’s Newspaper. She asked me if I would be interested in writing a piece for Memorial Day. Of course, I accepted and I asked myself “what will I say”? In the same moment my mind was flooded with the feelings that I had in that church service so long ago. I then thought, should ask my aunt to tell me her story? Will she say no? How will her and my cousins feel about me asking them to recount something so sensitive? I realized that there are so many black stories that are untold. Our losses, our sorrows and our contributions; swept up in history like dust in the wind. So, I simply called her and she shocking obliged.
As I made my way back home, I prayed that this personal interview be covered by God and our ancestor’s graces. I drove down her dirt road, Sanders Lane in Ridgeville, South Carolina and I could see myself and my cousins playing in the ditches; getting into everything but the things that we were told. My Jeep stopped in front of her house and I stood there to prepared my recorder. I retraced the steps that I made a million times and ended up to her front door as she greeted me with a smile and hug. She led me to the den in the back of her house and said “Sit here so you can write”. I did and her story took us back to 1967.
Why did you say yes when I asked you to be interviewed?
“I said yes because someone got a hold of my son. It was something about the monument they have down in Washington, DC. They have his name there and they asked my son to send a picture.”
So how did you meet your husband?
“I met my husband in New York. We used to work together in a plant and we worked together for about almost two years and then me and him got married. Not right away got married. The service called him, the Army, so he had to go to that and he didn’t want to go but he had to go. When he got back, he found out I was pregnant. I was pregnant with Chris and after that he was supposed to come back home for us to get married. He was supposed to be in the school where they teach them out how to jump out planes.”
To be an Airman?
“Um hum and he went AWOL and he came home. Me, him and my sister we went downtown on 34th street and got married. At that time, I did not know that he was AWOL until his father got a call and said Willie was missing. So after we got married he stayed home with me for about a week or more and then he had to report back to Georgia or somewhere. He reported back there and they punished him and he was not supposed to go to Vietnam but after he went AWOL they would not let him go to the jumping school again. They sent him all the way to Vietnam. Now whether he had the proper training for Vietnam or not, I do not know. He went over there and you know, I knew my husband for two/three years but I wasn’t really married to him but for a month, or two months. Cause I got pregnant before I got married. And he went over there and we were writing and I was sending him things. He wrote one of his favorite aunts and told her that he don’t think that he would be able to see us again. I didn’t know until she showed us the letter after he died. He said where he was.. was so terrible that he don’t know if he would ever make it. He told her “Just pray for me” and um.. I didn’t know. So, he was over there about two or three months and I didn’t got no money or nothing. And what it was, I must say the Red Cross took care of me and Chris after he was born. They give me clothes and made it for me to get checks from welfare. Then he finally write me. See cause where he was… he was in the woods and they couldn’t come up but sometimes to take care of paperwork. So when he did got up there to take care of the paperwork he said “I got the paperwork taken care of and you should be getting your first check.” Then the service told me that they didn’t want the marriage license that I sent Willie.”
So what was his full name?
“Willie, Wille Hall.”
Was he from here or from New York?
“No he was from Alabama. So, what we had to do was, me and my sister had to go downtown and get the original license from the place we got married because it needed the raised seal. They got that and got it straightened out for me and the baby to get a check. But Willie said “I didn’t get a chance to get my other paperwork done because they took us back to the woods and it’s going to be another two or three months before we come back up. Then I can change the insurance papers.” So I told him don’t worry about it. Come to find out Willie died. Willie got killed.”
How long before you found out? How long did it take between when he died to when you found out?
“Ok I’ll say, it was snow on the ground.”
Were you still in New York?
“Yes, I was still in New York. I was living in the Bronx and his family was living in Manhattan. So it was about two guys that came to the door and they told me that Willie was missing in action. I said “he missing again? That boy went AWOL again!” I got a cab me and the baby and we went over to his family house on a Sunday morning and I told them. He had an uncle there and he retired from the service right, and he said, “Cloudell sat down”. I said “well what’s the matter”? He said,” It’s a possibility that Willie, even though they say he missing, Willie may be dead.” I said “Oh no, they didn’t say that. They did not say that!” Then I said “Oh my God”, and his daddy went crazy. It took us about 10 days until we really found out that he was really dead. What happened was, we had to wait and wait and finally we got a message. Two people came to the house and said he was really dead.”
Did they say it just like that?
“It was a lady and man, service people came. They asked if somebody could come and sit with me while they gave me this message and I said “Oh my God he must really be dead.” The lady next door came in and then they told me. And Lord, that is all I remember. She said she called my sister and her husband to come to the apartment. They sat with me and then they called the doctor to give me a sedative. Then we had to wait must be another 15 days before we got his body. They told me his body hit Washington, DC at 2:30 in the morning. They gave me a phone call that time of the morning to tell me his body was in Washington, DC. They was going to take the body how I requested it, to Alabama. So, they did that and we left New York and went to Alabama. He had people to take care of everything. And Imma say, I didn’t do nothing cause child when he died I didn’t even get the first check yet.”
Why, because he didn’t get to finish the paperwork?
“No, he got finished with it but things took so long back then. They just started sending me stuff that said, “Died on the Battlefield”.
How old was Chris then?
“Chris was a baby. Chris wasn’t a good 5 months and come to find out he had pneumonia. The people wouldn’t let us in the hospital because…you know. So, we took him back to the house and Chris grandfather’s mother, an old lady said, “Hand him to me” and she took care of him. She stripped him and I don’t know what all that stuff was that she put on him.”
Was this at a house?
“Yes, because the hospital wouldn’t do nothing for us.”
Yes, I guess it was still segregation at that time.
“Um hum, we was in that house and she said, “Here, put a diaper on him and give him a warm bottle and let him sit right there.” Well, but you know, before his body hit Washington, DC, that was the strangest thing. You know when you sleeping…his casket rode by my bed and he rise up in the casket he said “Cloudell, I’m dead”… I’m serious I’ll never forget it.”
In your dream?
“Yea, he said, “I am dead so you won’t be wondering”. He just laid down and the casket went on back out. The service gave him a good homegoing. They had all of those soldiers and the guns and they had everything. All of my family came down and they didn’t have to do nothing. They did everything because he got killed on the battlefield. Me and Chris made two trips back there right after we buried him. To see his headstone.”
Where is it?
“It’s in a little town called Greenville, Alabama. We put him in the family cemetery buy his grandmama.”
Were you scared? You just started a family, had a baby and now your husband is gone?
“It was just so much happening at one time. The craziest part is when the body got to Alabama, the soldiers guarded the body. I said, “Well I wonder why they got to guard the body for?” Me and his daddy went to view the body and the soldiers said, “I’m sorry, the body can’t viewed.” His father loved him. He was his mama and father only child. If they had other kids I never knew about it. His father wanted to see his son cause that was his only child. Willie messed his ankle up when he was a child and his daddy said, “I know my child by his foot, if his face messed up, I’ll know him by his foot”. His daddy carried on so but I didn’t wanna see him like that. The man said, “Only Mrs. Hall, not you! If she says she want it open I have to make a call.” He went to his car and got some gadget and made a call to Washington, DC. Don’t ask me who I talked to. The man said, “Remember if you wanna look you have to be prepared.” I was just a cryin. They took a blowtorch and blew the seal off. And Lord you should have seen us going to that casket. Let me tell you what they had in there. You know the duffle bag that they carry, they had that and a big rock to balance the casket.”
So, he wasn’t in there?
“No, all the way from Vietnam after 15 days?! We never did get his body. His hat, medals and his dress uniform was in there. They never even got his dog tags. Later on somebody called me and told me that Willie stepped on a land mind. He stepped on one of those. It was more than him that got blown up that day. Somebody that was with them lived to tell us that. The only time we got to spend as husband and wife was that little bit of time he went AWOL. The last time I talked to him was when he was in Hawaii before they shipped him to Vietnam. They was about to board the plane. He told me to send him a picture of me and Chris. You know those booths that you sit in. I had Chris in my lap and it snapped the picture. I sent that and the stuff he wanted to eat. A box of stuff. Willie was on the battlefield when he got the box. He never even opened it. They mailed that box back to me after he died. He never even got to see Chris. I guess he had a feeling he wasn’t going to make it. That’s why he was rushing me and that’s why I went to the booth. Chris goes through those pictures every now and then cause he never saw his daddy. Never heard his voice. I didn’t know he was fightin like that. During that time, you figured it was a lot of money but when you sit back and think about that little bit of money …for his life and he got killed. And as a matter of fact, the last letter he sent he said “I’m fighting in Vietnam, risking my life and none of the guys know what the hell we fighting for.” That was in his letters. He got killed in Vietnam for 10 thousand dollars. It was terrible. I had to fight to get a money for us to survive. I couldn’t afford to live in New York no way so I came back home and stayed with mama and daddy. Then I saved and built this house. But God blessed me. I always thank God.”
As we wrapped up our conversation, she reminded me of how hard it was for to raise a young child after this tragedy. She never received insurance money because her husband didn’t live long enough to place her name on the policy. The menial checks from the military weren’t enough to keep her a float so she worked more than one job to save up and build a home. Chris grew up to be an amazing man with his own children. They still speak of Mr. Willie often and keep his photos placed on the wall with other family photos. It was a privilege to capture this piece of history and how the loss effects African American families. There are so many that do not have an opportunity to tell their story. We honor Mr. Willie Hall, his widow, Cloudell Hall and son Chris Hall this Memorial Day. May their story of love, lost and resilience never be forgotten.
